12 step dating

In 2013, the New York designers Jessica Walsh and Timothy Goodman conducted a now infamous experiment: they dated each other for 40 days and chronicled the process, through daily blog posts, on their 40 Days Of Dating site.The idea was for the two longtime friends to help each other with their respective relationship problems–Walsh a hopeless romantic, Goodman a commitmentphobe–by dating for the supposed time it takes to break a habit.When it comes to delaying gratification, when it comes to "choosing" between "one step at a time" versus "all at once," thinking in terms of gradual and taking time to develop and being objective and realistic are not how addicts are wired. Most recovering addicts don't realize that admitting to being out of control and surrendering to their powerlessness, as having done so in Steps I and II, also apply to their emotions when dating and in early stage relationships.The problem is not the relationship or the intimacy. Sex tends to increase one's level of emotional involvement and intensity of feelings, especially for women.Despite a polarizing response–some found it romantic, others called it a hoax–the site went viral, garnering a remarkable 300,000 unique visitors a day.

Though some might see irony in solving that problem with such a public display of introspection, Walsh and Goodman say they also have plans to expand the project to make it more participatory, to be revealed as the project rolls out.

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