I knew my tumultuous long-distance relationship with Evan, a sexy copywriter with almost supernaturally searing green eyes, was over when he hit on a friend through Twitter."I may look hot in a suit and tie, but you'd look even hotter with my tie around your wrists," he unabashedly tweeted to her out of the blue one day.He was a blond, blue-eyed cherub, and he attracted looks every time we stepped foot in a grocery store. He soon got so used to hearing how cute he was that he got bad at feigning thank-yous.I later dated a guy who looked different from the cherub, though he was no less good-looking.(I gravitate toward tall, lean, sharp-jawed guys who'd look right at home in a 1994-era Blur video.) A penchant for physically-dazzling-yet-obtuse men had been my norm for an embarrassingly long time.Sure, there had been the rare simultaneously-sexy-and- sweet stray, but those matches always seemed to fizzle straightaway. Matt was a blue-eyed skateboarder with a cute tangle of curls whom I'd salivated over for three straight months at camp.
In college, it was Andrew, a doe-eyed Jamie Dornan look-alike who rode a scooter, worked in a candy store, and boasted about his impressive collection of art books.They'd never communicated before, but he knew who she was. After months of escalating melodrama—professions of his ardor, served alongside constant pleas for "space"—this felt like the ultimate slap in the face and was just the latest in a string of manipulative ploys meant to upset me.So I finally cut off contact with him and swore off men for a few months.You also need to make sure you're compatible in the living room, the dining room, etc.," says Frances. That means his loyalty, commitment, and desire to raise kids with you have to be there—Hey!Are you listening to us or are you thinking about his abs again? I have my clients ask men what the most important thing to them in life is—what is it that drives them, that they want to accomplish more than anything else. He might say ' I'm really focused on getting my master's degree and I'm working 60 hours a week.' That is not a person that's going to be able to spend a lot of time falling in love and creating a family with you because he's busy building his career."Isn't her advice so spot-on?